The 1st Step is Admitting You’re the Asshole.

It’s not so much that I’m mad about the current state of the world, a pandemic is bound to cause a multitude of emotional responses, it’s what I’m mad about that really has me shook.

I can’t believe how much time I wasted walking through life with my head firmly up my ass thinking that my personal liberties were more important than being a decent human who believes in selflessness, being an ally to the downtrodden and subjugated citizens, and providing help to those in need. I spent the better part of 40 years walking and talking but never once did I listen or think. It took a global pandemic, and the physical and emotional fallout it has wrought, to really break me…I’ve done more soul searching in the past 11 months than I ever have in my whole life, and I’m willing to admit I am broken and humbled.

It’s not enough to realize one’s limitations and mistakes. You have to be willing to change and be better; you have to be willing to own all the bullshit that has spewed forth from your existence over time in order to provide a better life for everyone.

I’m looking for guidance and clarity in every interaction available, but still seem to come up short each day; and therein lies my anger…change isn’t supposed to be easy, and my privilege has spoiled me.